The Role of a Doula in Supporting Your Partner During Birth

Jenna Speir
Jan 28
3 min read

Updated: May 11

Imagine this: it’s go-time. You’re breathing through contractions, laser-focused on bringing your baby into the world. Your partner? They’re white-knuckling your water bottle, looking like they just walked into a final exam they forgot to study for. They love you more than life itself, but they’re wondering what do I do next?

Enter your doula. Calm, prepared, and ready to help you both crush this birth experience. While birth is undoubtedly about you (as it should be!), your partner plays a major role—and I’m here to make sure they feel confident, involved, and ready to tackle whatever comes next.

It's Not Just Your Birth - It's Their Experience Too

Yes, you’re the star of this show, but your partner isn’t just an extra on set—they’re a co-star! Their loving presence is like the ultimate oxytocin pump (more on that in a sec). Whether they’re eager to be your right-hand coach or more comfortable cheering you on from the sidelines, their involvement matters.

Here’s the thing: every partner is different. Some are ready to jump in with both feet, timing contractions, holding your hand, and whispering sweet affirmations. Others are like, “Where do I stand? What do I say? Am I supposed to Google this?” That’s where I come

I meet your partner exactly where they are, helping them show up in a way that feels authentic to them. Together, we make a pretty great team:

You: The incredible birthing person.
Your partner: The emotional anchor.
Me: The calm, confident sidekick who keeps it all together.

How I Support Your Partner

Let's get specific. Here's what I bring to the table when it comes to supporting your partner:

The Cheat Sheet of Labour: They don’t need to know everything—that’s my job. I’ll guide them through what’s happening, offer practical suggestions, and take the guesswork out of labor.
The Confidence Boost: Whether it’s showing them how to apply counter-pressure or when to jump in with a hug, I make sure they feel like a rockstar in their role.
The Break Manager: Labour can be a marathon, and everyone needs fuel. I’ll step in so your partner can grab a snack or take a breather without feeling like they’re abandoning you.
The Emotional GPS: If they feel unsure, overwhelmed, or worried, I’m there to steer them back to centre so they can stay present for

Why Your Partner's Role is So Important

Here’s where we get science-y for a second (but stick with me because it’s cool): oxytocin, the “love hormone,” is a big deal during labour. It helps contractions stay strong and consistent, and it’s released when you feel safe, loved, and supported.

Now guess who’s the best oxytocin booster? Yup, your partner. Their touch, their voice, their presence—these things can literally help labour progress. Whether it’s holding your hand, giving you a back rub, or just being there with calm reassurance, your partner has a superpower that can’t be replaced.

I’m here to help them step into that role fully. Want them to be hands-on with massage techniques? I’ll show them how. Prefer they just hold space while you do your thing? I’ll guide them there too.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

I know some partners worry that hiring a doula might sideline them, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. My job isn’t to replace your partner—it’s to amplify their awesomeness. Think of me as their backup, their coach, and their secret weapon all rolled into one.

When we work together, we create a birth team that feels balanced, supported, and totally dialed in. You get the care you need, and your partner gets the confidence they deserve

A Real-Life Story

Let me tell you about one of my favorite moments as a doula:

A dad called me in a panic during his wife’s labour, saying, “She’s in the tub, and she says she needs to push! What do I do?!” I stayed on the phone, guiding him step-by-step, until I arrived (probably breaking a few speed limits). When I walked in, he looked at me with pure relief and said, “Thank God you’re here.” He was an amazing support for his wife, but having me there gave him the confidence to step up in ways he didn’t even know he could.

Let's Make This Happen

Birth is a team effort. Whether your partner is a natural-born coach or someone who needs a little guidance, I’m here to support them every step of the way. Together, we’ll create a birth experience that feels empowering, connected, and uniquely yours.